Daniel Stokes peeks through the window after he said he heard something suspicious. Stokes, a 50-year-old man, has been living with bipolar disorder and psychotic episodes since he was a teenager. He said these mental illnesses drove his life to the edge and took many invaluable things from him.

Daniel makes iced tea in his kitchen. He has been living by himself since 1984 after his less than two-year marriage ended in a divorce. Daniel said abusing drugs and alcohol abuse mainly caused the divorce. He added that he wasn’t strong enough to endure what he had to encounter upon the official diagnosis of bipolar disorder at the age of 21. He had planned to join the U.S. Air Force.

Daniel is on the phone with his close friend Roger. Calling his friends is a daily routine. He said he prefers talking to someone on the phone because he can easily end the conversation whenever he wants to. Daniel has a tendency to hang up on his friends during the middle of conversation.

Daniel likes to smoke cigarettes. Smoking is one of Daniel’s few ways to manage his anger and depression. He said he becomes less emotional when he smokes. The number of cigarettes seems to reflect the number of times he’s been frustrated and depressed in his daily life.

Daniel meets his brother Jerry, center, and sister Victoria, left, a week before the Thanksgiving at the Fazolis. Jerry drove to Columbia from Sedalia to see his brother, but their lunch lasted only 20 minutes. Siblings left the restaurant soon after they finished their dishes. Although Daniel had not seen his family for a couple months, he barely shared eye contacnts with them during the lunch.

Daniel smokes a cigarette outside of his apartment.

One of the medications that Daniel takes daily and an old, faded portrait of his family sit on the microwave at his apartment. During the past 20 years, his unstable mental status and uncontrolled life styles resulted in both the separation from his family and diseases such as high blood pressure and diabetes. When he was 21, Daniel only needed to endure the disease, but now he is struggling with loneliness.

Daniel becomes emotional in his car. He likes to spend time in the car even when he is not driving. Although Daniel often smokes and listens to the sports radio in his car, he said sometimes he still feels lonely and depressed. Daniel said his bipolar symptom becomes worse around the Christmas season. He added that he sometimes wishes he were normal and could enjoy the time with his family.